11 Years Old and Lost in the Jungle

11 Years Old and Lost in the Jungle

This week my son had a challenging experience with the neighborhood kids. Also, this week I received an email from a friend and she shared with me the pain of losing a friend from gun violence; someone too young to die; someone too valuable to die. I don't know why, but as I thought about her pain, her journey and the reality of what my son was facing, I was taken back to the summer of 1982. I was 11 years old and my family moved from Arkansas back to central Texas, where I had lived most of my grade-school years. As a pre-teen with emerging puberty and unavoidable insecurity, it felt like a jungle; obviously not the natural terrain, but the relational and emotional terrain. I was going to live in that jungle; you know... live in a new neighborhood, make new friends and attend a new school. I liked "new". I hated "new". Even as a kid we find our love/hate relationship with change.

I was a loner in my childhood years and the reality of living in a new jungle surrounded by "the locals", simply reinforced my emotional isolation. It was where I felt the safest. One day, as I was exploring this jungle on my bike, the doubts I had about this new dense, dark place, and the dangers that loomed hidden, were validated as truths. When exploring this uncharted dark place, damp with uncertainty, humid with fear and bustling with adventure, I began to get a sense of my new surroundings. While biking down a particular street, imagining my bike to be a rugged all-terrain vehicle and a machete in hand; I saw on the horizon a "local", a "native of the jungle". He seemed innocent enough. He told me his name was Dennis. He was just another boy; slightly younger than me. I say "just", because I later discovered that there were many "boys" in this jungle. If Peter Pan had been present, this group of "locals" would have been the "lost boys". But, there we were: he - a Titan of the jungle and me - the small-framed, thin and emotionally fragile explorer, simply trying to find normal in my new jungle. Dennis proceeded to tell me to watch out because he and the other unnamed Titans would beat me up if I did anything wrong. Already emotionally insecure, experiencing my own internal jungle called puberty and facing the overwhelming reality of all things being new, it did not take me long to avoid all the signs of danger in my new neighborhood; mainly, the local people! I survived that summer.

My son will survive his challenges. My friend who lost a friend will survive her challenges. How? By applying the same skills I had learned while playing Pitfall on my Atari 2600. Pitfall Harry survived by running fast, swinging on vines and triumphing over the alligators. In playing that game (one of the hottest games in 1982), I felt like Pitfall Harry. I learned to emotionally run fast, swing on the vines and overcome the alligators.

As time went by, one day I was thrust into a deeper part of this new jungle - the first day of 6th grade! Can anything be more frightening to an 11-year-old? New friends, puberty, girls, social pressure, cafeteria cliques and new teachers... Yeah, I had ventured deeper into the jungle and I wasn't sure the light of the sun could penetrate this place. It was emotionally dark and as a one wrought with the pressures of growing up, I was not familiar with the skills needed to navigate dark places; much less dark emotional jungles. And then it happened... I felt the warmth of a ray of sunshine. I smiled. Genuine joy came over. My ray of sunshine was named  Mike Bever (pronounced Beaver). He was a smaller framed young local; a young man familiar with the jungle and all that came with it. He knew all the "cool" kids. He knew where to sit in the cafeteria. He knew who the pretty girls were. He knew which kids to pick for the dodge-ball game at recess. Basically, Mike was teaching me how to survive in the jungle. He was Tarzan and I was the awkward new kid - not cool enough, charismatic enough, rich enough, smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, talented enough or funny enough to create my own space in the jungle. So I lived in the shadowy space created by Bever. I was average Pitfall Harry. Small frame. Red hair. Lots and lots of freckles. My mom called them angel kisses, but that was her best loving attempt to help me deal with the never-ending emotional embarrassment of having brown pinholes all over my body. I HATED freckles. Now, in my mid 40's they cover up skin blemishes. So yes, they are angel kisses.

Mike and I were never best friends, but I stayed close enough to find safety; but not too close that I couldn't find my own "coolness".  As we progressed through middle school and into high school, Mike and I each found our own group of friends. We navigated to different parts of the jungle and we rarely saw each other, except in the passing hallways of high school or at a Friday Night Lights Texas High School football game. When we saw each other, we would give the glancing head nod, like two teenage men navigating the jungle as successfully as possible. That was our new life until the fall of 1988. It was an early Saturday morning. I was 17 and I was familiar with the jungle. I had become one of the locals. I had just finished eating some cereal and my mom was cleaning the house. There was a crisp feel to the air. Windows were open. Country music was playing - probably George Jones or Conway Twitty - two of my mom's favorite singers. The phone rang. (You remember the kind of phones connected with a cable and mounted on a wall?) I answered it. It was Jerry Ferguson. Jerry was a high school friend who lived in a different part of the jungle. He shared with me the news that disrupted the security and safety of my now all-too-familiar jungle. Bever had died. Back in those days, it was not uncommon for my high school mates to drive deeper into the concrete jungle of adolescence - Austin, and hang out and go clubbing. At least that's what we called it in the late 80's/early 90's. One such night when Bever was riding home with a friend; just a couple of miles from his home, the driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit the only tree on the side of the road and Bever was killed. I couldn't believe it. The kid who helped me feel safe, who helped me integrate into this new place and time was gone. Death had taken him out of our jungle. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Death was not allowed in our teenage jungle. We were immortal. All of life was in front of us. Dreams that looked like massive ocean liners on the horizon were inching closer every day. Envisioned ideas of changing the world, laughing our way into adulthood and conquering college - all that seemed important. How could this happen? Days after the call I attended his funeral. Alone. Because at 17, while I had friends in the jungle, survival in the jungle meant I would be alone. I'll never forget driving my small truck, riding by myself and listening to the radio playing Rod Stewart's "Forever Young". How appropriate... Bever would be forever young in our minds. As if life were not hard enough at 11, 15 or 17, and for that matter 46, having a friend die at the all-too-young age of 17 is wrong. Life was also hard in retrospect, because I had no conscious consideration for Jesus, for God or the afterlife. What do you do with death when you have no context for life? It was also hard because Bever was the one who helped me find my way in the jungle. I'll always be thankful for that friend who reached out to a stranger to make him feel welcomed.  

I heard Abdu Murray and Ravi Zacharias speak the other day about finding meaning in a post-truth culture. Abdu shared a wonderful illustration of how we overcome societal and cultural vertigo. We find reference points that aren't moving. I have to learn and experience that Jesus Christ is the fixed reference point when things disrupt the jungle life. Jesus Christ is the truth, the fixed reference point for how we move past societal and cultural vertigo.  

We find an example of cultural vertigo and a fixed reference point of truth in Isaiah 6. It says, "In the year that King Uzziah died I saw ALSO the Lord high and lifted up..." When we experience jungle disruptions, pain, injustice, embarrassment, shame, anger or disappointment in the theater of life, the fixed reference point of God's reality is how we shake off our vertigo. When Bever died, I didn't have a fixed reference point of truth or a fixed reference point of God's presence. Therefore, I wandered around the jungle for many months. I tried the reference points of anger, girlfriends, drugs, alcohol and intellectual achievement; only to find that they were not fixed reference points but were mercies of the cultural tide. I had wandered to where my jungle met the ocean. In that place, I kept experiencing the crashing waves of disappointment, confusion, and despair. The fixed reference point to be fruitful and live the life I was created for is Jesus Christ. I wandered and meandered until one day I found it; a blood-stained tree - a crucifix planted deep and unmovable. Or should I say, it found me? I am learning that the pathway to taking new territory in the jungle and inhabiting that new space is to surrender to Jesus, receive His life, experience His empowering grace and do good. God is good. So any expression of goodness is indeed an incarnation of the living Christ. Mike Bever did good by reaching out to a lost 11-year-old. That kindness was a fixed reference point. Jesus Christ is good. His goodness is a fixed reference point. You can navigate the jungle by fixing your eyes on Jesus Christ. And who knows what good thing you will do today; albeit small and easy to overlook, but that which will impact and change the life of another person.

Weep with them that weep.
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
Stay hopeful.

When the Ordinary Becomes Sacred

When the Ordinary Becomes Sacred

I had an interesting experience this week. I was walking around our church parking lot; spending time thinking and praying. While doing so, I realized how much I love our parking lot. Weird, huh? I mean, I think it's kind of weird. It's not the nicest parking lot. It's not the prettiest parking lot. It's not the most well-kept parking lot either. So why do I love our parking lot?  Because it's a familiar place where I have cried, processed fear, confessed my sins, made declarations, shared my heart with my wife and friends and chosen to believe God's goodness when circumstances told me otherwise.  

As I was walking, I said to myself, "This parking lot isn't much to look at, but I love it because I've shared deep fears and worries with God and He has encountered my heart. The manger wasn't much to look at either. Isaiah the prophet also tells us that Jesus wasn't much to look at either. This parking lot is in good company." I'm not trying to equate our parking lot with the arrival of the Messiah or the Old Testament prophecies of His coming, but to simply say that some of the everyday common places and experiences can be places of encounter, transformation, growth and healing. That's our parking lot.  

- When I walk that cracked and faded asphalt, I remember God speaking to me about how to lead when I'm afraid.  
- I remember making important decisions about staffing.  
- I remember walking and thinking of my deceased parents, my son getting married, my wife's need for leadership, empowerment and encouragement. 
- I remember getting wisdom for the decisions that I was facing. I remember the warm and salty tears as I mourned the things I had lost.  
- I remember dreaming of what is possible. 
- I remember stopping and staring at the Gateway building and looking back at all the ways that God has touched people's lives because of our commitment to love, lead and live as Jesus did, in this geographical space.

Where is your common everyday space that stirs your emotions and jogs the memory of your encounters with God?  If you don't have one, you should find one and stay faithful to that place. There is something powerful about creating memory stones of encounters where we make the common, sacred.

The Way of Wisdom

The Way of Wisdom

It's not uncommon for my church family to ask me how they can pray for me. I usually answer, "Wisdom. I need wisdom to lead this great family."  When we think of wisdom, what comes to mind? What do we picture?

When I hear the word wisdom, what comes to my mind is James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." [1]  Please note a few observations from this powerful statement from James:

1. We lack wisdom. In a culture that values intellectualism, knowledge acquisition and problem-solving, we are experiencing a lack with the limited knowledge and wisdom we possess. We can send men to the moon. We can explore the human gene. We can cure diseases. We can build weapons that obliterate the earth many times over. We can study the human brain. We can invent devices that keep us globally connected. We can accomplish many wonderful and glorious things with the power of knowledge, intellect and innovation; yet we have failed to discover how we can remove hate from the human heart, how we can remove racism from the human soul or how we can remove injustice from the earth. As a people, we are stubborn and we pride ourselves with what we can get done, but our pride can't admit our lack. If we as humans lack, then we as humans are not at the top of the "food chain". There must be something or someone "out there". Humility though, inspires thinking of others first and knows that if we lack wisdom, we can't show up in the human story and serve others with life, health, vigor and vision. I believe that intellect is a powerful gift from God and one that should be harnessed to its maximum potential. However, intellect becomes foolish if it seeks to replace God. Genesis 1:28-30 describes to us that intellect is meant to help us explore the unfathomable riches of God and to harness His wisdom through human expression for life-giving stewardship, leadership and governance.

2. God has wisdom. We live in a post-postmodern age, so why turn to God? Many view God as authoritative, distant and disinterested. So if I need wisdom why would I ask God? Yet, we are learning that the depth of human intellect and knowledge is not deep enough to mine the answers we need for today's challenges. God has wisdom and we should in all humility, turn to Him and ask. He gives generously to ALL who ask, without finding fault. How does He give wisdom?  Here are a few ways:

  1. Prayer - He speaks to us and gives us wisdom.
  2. The Bible - He gives us these inspired letters to provide what we need.
  3. Experience - We can learn from past failures and successes.
  4. Community - Wisdom can be found in a group of people who are bringing their own experience, bible knowledge, encounters with God and perspectives from which we can learn.
  5. Resources - I'm talking about books, blogs, podcasts, etc... (i.e.) leveraging the synergy of the digital revolution and the information age.

3. God gives generously. God is generous. Here are two bible verses to support that claim.

First, in Genesis 1:28-30, "God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” 29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so." [1] God gave them the earth as their possession to steward.

Second, in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." [1] God gave His son!

(Please don't read any further yet. Take 5-10 minutes to meditate upon that reality.)

God is a father who gives generously. He likes to prosper His creation. If you take a closer look at the passage from Genesis, you will find that God puts a "seed" within all of creation so that it will naturally reproduce and provide enough for mankind. God's provision is self-generating. Therefore, His generosity is not a "one time" generous gesture, but it is a seed intended to keep on producing, thus we have multi-generational generosity.

4. God gives wisdom without finding fault. Sometimes when people are in a jam, we don't give them what they need because we want them to "learn" their lesson. Sometimes that is wise. But, when we ask God for wisdom, He does not look at us and blame us for our need, and does not withhold wisdom from us. Nor does He blame us for the poor and unwise decisions that we made. Our need for wisdom may be innocent or it may be the result of our foolishness. In either case, He gives wisdom generously to all, without finding fault.  

To summarize - Our wisdom is limited and therefore we should ASK the One who is Wisdom and He will give it to us generously and freely.



[1] Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Living with the Mind of Christ

Living with the Mind of Christ

In Paul's letter to the Romans, he writes, "...the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring -- not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all" (Romans 4:16 NIV). This verse best sums up Paul's illustration of Abraham as making a case that our righteousness is by faith. But, what does this have to do with living with the mind of Christ?

The mind of Christ reflects faith; it does not create faith. Faith is a gift from God to be stewarded and cultivated. The mind can reason and express what faith looks like. It is a useful and brilliant servant, but it is not a good leader. Reading further into Romans 4, we find Abraham remaining strong in his faith, even though he "faced the fact that his body was as good as dead..." (Romans 4:19 NIV).  When Abraham was not lead by faith, but lead by his mind, he produced an Ishmael. When he remained steadfast in the promise of God, he produced an Isaac. At first Abraham focused on lack, but he did not continue focusing on lack. He repented and began to focus on God, who could fulfill His promise. "He [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God" (Romans 4:20 NIV). Faith helps us see the promise of God and trust in God; and the mind of Christ helps us mature, express and fulfill the promise of God.  

Jesus used leaven as a metaphor for beliefs. He talks about the leaven of Herod (political spirit - political influence - fear of man - control - manipulation), the leaven of the Pharisees (religious spirit - knowledge without experience - fear of man - control) and the leaven of the Kingdom (faith - intimacy - power - freedom - grace - justice - faithfulness - love - hope - peace). Leaven influences what we think, how we think and what we believe about reality. Miracles or heavenly ecosystems that enforce their superiority over natural ecosystems, are both an invasion and expression of God's kindness; and also an invitation to something new. Miracles are what happen when the leaven of the Kingdom of God touches natural and impossible situations. The leaven of the Kingdom is not meant to be a "one and done" lifestyle, but an experience and a new normal that we receive as heirs; not visitors. The mind of Christ faces impossible situations, thinks what heaven thinks, thinks how heaven thinks and declares the supernatural as our inheritance. A significant truth that must under-gird this position is what Paul wrote of Abraham, "Without weakening in his faith..." (Romans 4:19 NIV).  All too often, you and I face challenging and daunting circumstances that solicit overwhelming fear and uncertainty. In those moments our faith grows weak and anemic because the unrenewed mind is looking at our circumstances with logic and reason, but not with faith. Why does our reasoning start with what we don't have? How can we live in the realm of faith and at the same time give place and value to what others think, even if those "others" are circumstances, past failures and not just negative people? It's paramount that we live with an ear that hears heaven; that hears what Holy Spirit is saying. John 16:13 is exciting. Ponder these words from Jesus, "But when he, the Spirit of Truth [Holy Spirit] comes, he will guide you into all truth.  he will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come" (NIV). When Holy Spirit speaks, He is releasing Kingdom inheritance, wisdom, power and life.  

So when you and I face difficulties, national catastrophes, painful situations, confusing and complicated matters, do not begin with the leaven of Herod or the leaven of the Pharisees. Begin with the leaven of the Kingdom. Which is to say, begin with the mind of Christ which is not weakened in faith, but strengthened in faith; giving glory to God.  It's possible because....

1. We are a joyful people rooted in the goodness and love of God.

2. We are a hopeful people rooted in the kindness of God, knowing that nothing is impossible with God.

3. We are a triumphant people who do not fight for victory, but through worship, prayer and action enforce the victory of Christ.

4. We are a significant people because Christ revealed our worth, adopted us into His family, reconciled us to the Father, given us Holy Spirit and commissioned us to advance His kingdom with signs and wonders.


A Note to My Gateway Family...

A Note to My Gateway Family...

Hello Gateway Family and Friends,

In the recent weeks, we have seen a historic storm drop over fifty inches of rain in the 4th largest city in America - Houston and all along the coastline of Texas and Louisiana. Gateway has donated financially to help those affected find safety, shelter, receive necessary supplies, think about rebuilding and experience hope and love from faithful volunteers. Here we are again with another large hurricane - Irma; churning across the Atlantic. If we look at the hurricane's projected path, within the cone of possibility, we find several islands; most notably Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Haiti and Cuba. If Hurricane Irma remains true to her projected path she will make a landfall in the United States with memorable force and devastation.

I'm writing not to give you a weather update, but to say to our church family, many of whom are from Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic and Jamaica (outside the hurricane's projected path), we are praying for you and your families. We are a beautiful and diverse family and when one of us is impacted, we are all impacted. Please know we stand with you and if we can do anything for you, please ask. I will work with Pastor Angel Sanchez, our pastor who oversees Gateway's Missions and look for ways to give financially to those who will be affected by Hurricane Irma, should she make a landfall in the United States.

I can only imagine what some of you maybe experiencing as you prayerfully watch Hurricane Irma. However, let's not passively wait, but assertively in prayer, declare an end to this storm. Let's proclaim a safer course of direction; one that sends Hurricane Irma into the Atlantic, with little damage and zero loss of life.

In this hour, we are commanded to arise and shine. We will do so by praying. We will do so by standing together. We will do so by giving financially.

Standing with you,

Lance Bane
Lead Pastor

5 Reasons why I Love Praying with Friends

5 Reasons why I Love Praying with Friends

Recently I met with my friend Stanely. Stanely is an American citizen, but was born and raised in Kenya. He is a devout follower of Jesus, a kind and loving husband and a gentle and generous father. He's got a million dollar smile and a heart that is passionate about Christ and His kingdom. When I'm with Stanely, I'm inspired to give myself more to prayer and to the simple life found within the gospels. My time with him does more for me than he may ever realize. During our most recent time together I noticed a few reasons why I love praying with Stanely, and more broadly, why I love praying with friends.

1. Family. The old social proverb says, "The family that prays together, stays together." I love spending time with friends in prayer because I am encouraged. Together, our hearts are strengthened as we position ourselves in humility before Father God. It's harder to be offended, unforgiving or unkind when you spend time together before the throne of God in prayer.

2. Support. As we pray together as friends, we cultivate a deeper trust and bond with each other. Stanely told me today that he can share anything with me because he feels safe and won't be judged. Praying with others provides relational, emotional and spiritual support. Think about one of Jesus' darkest times - His time of prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. He did not encounter that prayer time alone, but wanted the support of His friends; His disciples.

3. Agreement. Jesus taught about the power of agreement and highlighted this kingdom truth when He said, "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."  We find in Psalm 133 and Acts 1 & 2, the power of unity and being together in agreement in prayer. When my faith is struggling or my hope is low, I lean into the faith and hope of others. Plus, when I'm praying alone, I don't know what others are praying, I can't hear them. But when we pray together, we hear each other and we can agree together.  

4. Insight into others. They say that most of our communication is non-verbal. When I listen to my friends pray, there are things I hear that they don't say.  I hear the passion, the pain, the excitement, the hope, the uncertainty, etc. in their tone of voice. I hear the fluctuations within their prayer and identify what's weighing heavy on their heart. I can see the tears, the walking around, the energy  they are using to pray. All of that says something. I would rather know someone by their heart and spirit, and not just from what I observe from across the room or from what someone says. Spending time with another in prayer allows us to gain insight into the heart of another. That's a priceless treasure.

5. Insight into myself. I learn about how others see me when they pray for me. As my friend Stanely prayed for me, I heard him communicate by faith, how he experiences me, what he loves about me and the things that he believes about me. While at the same time, in my own heart and mind, I'm not sure I believed those things. When we spend time praying with our friends, we can learn something about our own thoughts and prayers; both by what we pray and how we pray it, and as well as what others pray for us and how they pray for us.

It's my desire that you spend some time in prayer with your spouse, with your best friends, with others and discover why praying with others is a Kingdom way of living.

Joy for the Undeserved

Joy for the Undeserved

I heard Mike Bickle say one time, "It takes God to love God."  I love that idea.  Jesus captured it in these words, "You did not choose me, but I chose you" [1].  Jesus also said, "No one can come to me [Jesus] unless the Father who sent me draws them..." [1].  It seems clear to me that any passion in my heart for God, any desire to consider God, pray, worship, read the bible, serve others, desire justice, advocate for the oppressed, etc., is not the product of human will alone, but it is the human will under the influence of the Divine.

And even though we sin, violating the nature of God and His ways, we live under the influence of God's Spirit. To go even further, we are actually the house in which the Holy Spirit lives. What is sin you may ask?  Sin is the result of idolatry.  Scot McKnight quotes in a blog, NT Wright from his book The Day the Revolution Began, "Called to responsibility and authority within and over the creation, humans have turned their vocation upside down, giving worship and allegiance to forces and powers within creation itself. The name for this is idolatry" [2]. Sin is the product of living in idolatry.  We have worshiped other things, other ideas, other philosophies and other "isms" (humanism, materialism, socialism, etc.) and the net result of our behavior is sinful.  

Sin is damaging. "Sin, when it's full grown, gives birth to death...", James 1:15 [1]. King David, the greatest King in Israel's history experienced this. When we consider his life, we find that he is not on the front lines of battle during a war, as a King should be. But instead, he is at home idolizing and enjoying himself.  As if this were not bad enough, he eyes a married woman named Bathsheba bathing, and lusts after her. He calls her to his room, has sex with her and she conceives. Once King David finds out, he plots a plan to get her to sleep with her husband Uriah (who is a noble solider on the front lines of the battle) and so when she does, everyone will believe it's Uriah's baby and not King David's. However, when Uriah comes home, the thought of sleeping with his wife seems offensive to him because his men are sacrificing their lives on the front line. David's plan fails and he resorts to the only thing he can - murder.  King David then tells his servant to put Uriah on the front line of the most heated battle where he is certain to be killed. That's what takes place. Uriah dies. Bathsheba has a baby. The baby dies. King David is in trouble. To thicken the plot, Nathan the prophet approaches King David and tells him a parable about King David's own life (although King David does not know it at the time) and when King David interprets the parable, he finds out that it's a stinging rebuke from the prophet and exposure of David's sinful and vile plot. King David's great sin was not the lust, the adultery, the manipulation, the cover-up or the murder, it was idolatry. I once heard a man say, "Sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go and keep you there longer than you ever wanted to stay.". Idolatry was David's problem. This is paradoxical, because the bible described King David as a man after God's own heart. David was a worshiper and wrote many of the songs in the book of Psalms. And while I can agree with what God said about David, because God said it, this is not one of David's bright moments. This leads us to Psalm 51 and undeserved joy. 

Psalm 51 is David's prayer to God after Nathan the prophet exposed him, rebuked him and corrected him.  It is one of my favorite prayers by David and I draw your attention to Psalm 51 v12, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" [1]. King David did not deserve joy. He deserved judgement. But David repented. He humbled himself. He fasted and prayed, asking for mercy. God responded. He forgave David and was merciful to him. But sin already had a big impact on King David. For example, we learn from this psalm that David wanted to be delivered (v.1), wanted to be clean (v.2), took responsibility (v.3-5), acknowledged the desires of God (v.6), wanted to be clean (v.7), wanted to hear the sounds of heaven (v.8), have his sins hidden from God (v.9), wanted a clean heart and a steadfast spirit (v.10), wanted a continual experience with God's presence (v.11) and then we come to the restoration of joy and a willing spirit (v.12).  

Idolatry begets sin. Sin begets death. Sin steals our joy. Therefore idolatry leads to death and the loss of joy. So what do we do?  We pray!

In humility, we bring our sins into the light through confession and ownership, and we ask God for a restoration of joy. Receive His forgiveness. Forgive ourselves. Honor God and His statues. Acknowledge our failure. Seek a pure heart. ASK FOR A RESTORATION OF JOY!! This is why I said at the beginning, "It takes God to love God". We can't create our own joy. We can't manufacture sustained joy. We can create happy moments, touching memories and good times, but we can not create sustained joy in the place of crushing loss and deep failure. Only God can do that and He wants to do it.  Joy is an undeserved gift, given to us by God and as Paul says, "Always be joyful" [1].

Allow yourself to smile again. Allow yourself to feel good about what God is doing in you. Allow yourself to feel the joy of the Lord in your emotions. Allow joy to influence the way you think and the way you view the world. God will give you joy as you abide in Jesus, make Him your dwelling place. Joy makes us strong against the dark powers that seek to steal, kill and destroy your life. If you're a follower of Jesus, the Devil can't send you to hell, but he can make your life feel like it. Another reason joy is so powerful is because it kicks the devil in the teeth. I love to be joyful, even when I don't think I should be, because it's an advantageous move against the enemy. The bible tells us to believe God "and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy..." [1]. Glory is the radiant display of God's nature. We are to live our lives with a powerful faith in God, to be filled with inexpressible joy and display the radiant nature of God. WOW!! Does that describe how you live? Is sin stealing your joy? We don't deserve joy, but the Father gives it freely. The Kingdom of God is "righteousness, peace and joy, IN the Holy Spirit." The God of hope fills you with ALL JOY.  So what do we do?

1. Stop sinning.  Consider yourselves dead to sin, but alive to Christ Jesus.  

2. Humbly ask for a restoration of joy and for a wiling spirit to sustain in this new lifestyle.

3. Demonstrate joy. Don't hold it in like it's a CIA secret. Live joyFULL!


[1] New International Version (NIV)  Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

[2] The Day the Revolution Began, p. 76-77

Enjoying Jesus

Enjoying Jesus

I recently blogged about my curiosity on following Jesus. You can read it here. If you look at that post, you will notice a beautiful piece of artwork at the top, with its photo credit at the bottom of the post. When soliciting permission to post the artwork as the header for my blog post, the husband of the artist emailed me and said, "I think you are right on with your blog, about the value and importance of enjoying Jesus now, in this life. I found myself wishing that you would have talked a little more about how one enjoys Jesus. You mentioned various contexts such as human suffering, but what does it look like, feel like, etc. to enjoy Jesus now? What would I do to move to a more experiential relationship with Jesus? Of course, I have my own answers to these questions, but I offer them as a humble comment (and suggestion) on your blog." 

Tim, thanks for the feedback. This blog is a response to some of those questions. 

Let's think about the word ENJOY. The english word is based upon the Latin gaudere 'rejoice'. It is defined as, "take delight or pleasure in; have a pleasant time; possess and benefit from". Since the word ENJOY is based upon the word 'rejoice', let's look at the word 'rejoice'. The word REJOICE is based upon the "Middle English (in the sense ‘cause joy to’): from Old French rejoiss-, lengthened stem of rejoir, from re-(expressing intensive force) + joir ‘experience joy". It is defined as, "feel or show great joy or delight; cause joy to".

I'm not trying to give us an etymology lesson, but I'm simply trying to help us understand the context of this word in our language and discover the significance of enjoying Jesus. Based upon what we've seen in the word's history, when we enjoy Jesus we take delight, we take pleasure, we have a pleasant time, we benefit, we feel, we show great joy or delight and for Him to cause us joy. Personally, based upon that definition, I need a significant upgrade in my joy. It's an aspect of God's nature and character that I don't express or experience enough. I want to enjoy Jesus. I want you to enjoy Jesus. I want us to enjoy Him together.  He's enjoyable in the difficult times.  James 1:2 instructs us to "consider it all joy" when we encounter difficulties and trials, because in the end, they are for our good. When we lean into the practice of "considering," we exercise our strength leading to the renewing our mind with truth; and in this case, the truth feels like joy. Consider Him who is faithful. He is enjoyable because the announcement of His birth caused great joy for all people. As NT Wright describes, His birth was the inauguration of the Great Exodus. We have been liberated from the dark powers of The Great Pharaoh (Satan), we receive forgiveness for our sins and we have been reconciled back to God. This message of reconciliation has been given to us and we are empowered with His Spirit, to call home the lost sons and daughters of God (Luke 2:10, Galatians 5:1, 2 Corinthians 5:18-21, Acts 1:8, Romans 8:15-17). That should cause some great joy! That great joy should express itself. I can't help but remember the scene from Sister Act, when Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) has the choir singing "Oh Happy Day."  It starts flat, thin and anemic, but gains momentum and ends strong, energetic and fun. That's an expression of joy. Smile. Laugh. After all, joy is an expression of faith and it's 1/3 of the Kingdom of God (Romans 14:17). 

We enjoy Jesus when we delight in what He has done for us. We enjoy Jesus when we obey Him. We enjoy Jesus when we worship Him and focus on Him. We enjoy Jesus when we serve the least and the lost among us. We enjoy Jesus when we take risks and step out in faith. We enjoy Jesus when we love our enemies, when we love our neighbors and when we love ourselves. We enjoy Jesus when we take pleasure in the goodness of Jesus and in our new found freedom in His grace. 

Romans 15:13 captures the essence of what it means to enjoy God in this hour and in this life, even when we are surrounded by fear, uncertainty, anxiety or suffering. The Apostle Paul says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." [1] Do you see the key to enjoying him? It's in our trusting Him. Standing, kneeling, beholding, leaning and/or falling upon Jesus (or whatever verb you want to insert) is when we are FILLED WITH ALL JOY. ALL JOY! That's amazing! Remember, our word ENJOY is a derivative of the word REJOICE which comes from two words - one of them meaning 'expressing intensive force'. Trusting in the God of hope does not have to be sour or negative! It's the posture of a heart longing to be filled with ALL JOY. When you continue reading Romans 15:13, you see that you are filled with all peace so that you may overflow with hope, by the Spirit's enablement. Amazing!!!! Are we afraid of expressing intense joy?  Are we afraid of being judged for our outbursts of enthusiasm? Has our faith been weakened by the continual storms of life, so the most joy we can offer is a rare moment of joyful ecstasy in the presence of God? I'm challenged by the idea of joy and why I don't ENJOY Jesus more than I do. Something is definitely missing... 

In this life, in the gift of this life, as the Image Bearer of the Divine, in this Great Temple called creation, we are to illuminate the nature of God and point people to Him. Our joy in this life is the proper way to live revealing the "right side up Kingdom" and an "upside down world". Ask Jesus to restore to you the joy of your salvation (Psalm 51:12). Jesus wants your joy to be complete and full (John 16:24). As you commune with Him, abide in Him and live in union with Him, He wants you producing the fruit of joy, which is the evidence of you living the indwelling life in God (Galatians 5:23).


[1] New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

I'm wondering why I follow Jesus...

I'm wondering why I follow Jesus...

What is the chief end of man? To glorify God AND enjoy Him forever. John Piper says, "To glorify God BY enjoying Him forever". So the question that comes to my mind is, "How do I enjoy God in this life, since it's the beginning point of my forever?".


Without the gift of life, I am not here. You are not here. Psalm 139 is clear about how God knits us, forms us and knows us. Jeremiah talks of God knowing us and ordaining our days. Ephesians 1 speaks of being chosen and known before creation ever began. Then, does it mean that to enjoy God forever is to wait until I am done with this life so we can get to the real stuff? If one believes that, then what is this life about? What is the chief end of man as a mortal human being with a life span limited by years, time, mortality and death? I propose, it is to still glorify God BY enjoying Him; AND enjoy Him for ever... And that begins now.

The beauty of this life is that we have an opportunity to experience the glory of God in the midst of our sufferings, trials and losses. Those dimensions of our human experience will not exist in our eternal life with God. Heaven will have no darkness. Heaven will have no tears. There will be no sorrow. Therefore, a resolve begins to emerge in the human spirit to LIVE radically for the glory of God; enjoying Him in this moment, within this fleshly and emotional experience despite the fears, losses and rejections.

The gospel of the Kingdom, taught and demonstrated by Jesus is not a foretaste of the ever-after, but it is a "heavenly selfie" of what life should be like for every person. Would we follow Jesus if heaven and hell are not involved in our decision making? Do we follow Jesus only for "eternal insurance?" If so, then where is the glorification of God and how are we enjoying Him NOW, when our true and honest motive for choosing Jesus is not actually choosing Jesus, but instead choosing His free gift? Do we believe that the teachings of Jesus is the way to enjoy God forever? Is Buddhism the way to glorify God and enjoy Him forever? Is Islam the way to glorify God and enjoy Him forever? Is humanism the way to glorify God and enjoy Him forever?

Have you considered, if hell is not an option, why would you follow Jesus? This question challenges our motives for following Christ. It challenges us to study the teachings of Jesus as "formational" for how we live, and that our life's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Is that what Jesus did? If so, how? And if He is our model, are we imitating and innovating the Kingdom way of living? Is life a gift or a long and arduous road of rejection, fear, loss and pain with a light at the end of the tunnel called heaven? I'm not making light of our eternal home and reality, but trying to suggest that life is a gift; a grand and magnificent gift; a truly one and done gift; a gift which affords us the beautiful opportunity to glorify God within the human narrative and enjoy Him forever since we are the Imago Dei - the image bearers of God.

Is Slow the New Fast?

Is Slow the New Fast?

Why are we in such a hurry? The more honest question is - "Why am I in such a hurry?"

Do I believe that my life lived at a slower pace, can be as rich and as full as if lived at a break neck pace? 

Do I believe that I will regret not living harder and faster?

Do I believe that God needs me to live at a break neck speed in order to build His kingdom?

Is it possible that living at a break neck pace is actually a symptom of unbelief?

Is it possible that I will go through life so quickly, that when I arrive at the illusory destination, I will arrive deplete of what I need to enjoy my destination?

But Lance, the world is moving faster because of technology, real time news, global communication and connection.  Ok.  I can't deny that.  

If Jesus' kingdom is counter-intuitive to the systems of the world, then do I want the "world and it's systems" determining the pace of my life? 

If the Kingdom of God is an upside down Kingdom (maybe it's actually a right side up Kingdom and we live in an upside down world -- to say it's an upside down Kingdom is to imply the world is right side up and I don't think the teachings of Jesus will support that idea 😉 ) then shouldn't slow be the new fast?

Overcoming the "Comparison Killer" Part Two

Overcoming the "Comparison Killer" Part Two

"For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us...."  2 Corinthians 10:12-13, [1]

A few days ago I wrote about COMPARISON and how it's a killer that is taking out too many of us. I appreciate the comments, both within the blog and on social media. If you'd like, you can read it here

The overall message is that we compare ourselves against what we think we should be or what we should be when we look at others. This can lead to heightened insecurity, often found in the language of two extremes - "I'm not ____________ enough" or "I'm better than that person. At least _________________".

Let's talk about how we can overcome COMPARISON and have a healthier relationship with ourselves and with others, and position ourselves with the best opportunity to fulfill our calling and purpose with joy!

My awareness of my own propensity to compare myself began while I was on social media. I posted on my Facebook page - "The other day I noticed a friend's success. I didn't celebrate, I compared. Comparison is a killer." The key to getting out of the COMPARISON game is to CELEBRATE. When we can CELEBRATE the success of others, it highlights the honor within our own heart, affirms our growing maturity in Christ and increases our security and significance in our own calling. We don't have to CELEBRATE ourselves or others at the expense of anyone else. We can detox, live healthier and fuller lives. Here are some ways to CELEBRATE:

1. CELEBRATE the work of Grace (No striving.) - The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15; the chapter most known for Paul's argument for the resurrection of Jesus the Christ; he states - "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them -- yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." We can celebrate the accomplishments of others because it's the work of grace. Grace has an effect on the lives of people and grace is not partial; nor plays favorites. Grace empowers us to work hard, to partner with God and in the end, whoever we have become in Christ or whatever we have accomplished with Christ, it is the work of grace. CELEBRATE the work of grace and flow with it's work within your own life. You don't have to do more; grace will do more. Yield to its influence and watch it work within your heart and life.

2. CELEBRATE the paths we take. (No loss of focus.) - I recently got eyeglasses. I needed progressive lenses to help me see things far off and up close. With progressive lenses, I am learning to look at things differently. As I was taking my eye exam (my first one ever), I thought I could see, until the doctor changed the lenses and then I could REALLY see. WOW! I felt like I was in a modern day parable. Not only am I getting glasses, but I'm learning something. In life, when we think we can see, we don't see as well as what is possible. CELEBRATION of others in the realm of relationships and spiritual matters, clarifies our focus and vision. We are able to CELEBRATE the journey of another without losing sight of our own glorious journey with Christ. May God give us the ability to see clearly. We don't need to curse our path or process. It's ours and we can engage in it joyfully and become who Jesus says we are.

3. CELEBRATE your dreams. (No illusionary dreams.) - There is no "little ol' me" in the Kingdom of God. It does not do anyone a service if we play small. We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to; but with humility, we must embrace our position and roles as children of God. As such, we have dreams, callings, aspirations and desires. Whatever dreams we have and whatever resources we have are just gifts that we want to use to glorify Jesus by being faithful, taking risks and giving back to others. CELEBRATE YOUR DREAMS.

4. CELEBRATE your promises. (No victimization.) - With varying degrees, I believe most of the people I know can legitimately play the "victim" card in one way or another. As Kingdom citizens, we are not called to play the victim, but to CELEBRATE the promises that Jesus has given us. We are more than conquerors. We are overcomers. We are loved unconditionally. We are more than enough. We are given the Spirit of Adoption and not the spirit of fear. We are perfectly loved. We have peace that surpasses all understanding. Anxiety has no power over us. Comparing our lives with the lives of others, blinds us to our process and our dreams, and we are robbed of our promises. CELEBRATE Christ's love expressed in His promises to you. 

5. CELEBRATE your position. (No self criticism.) - When I suggest CELEBRATING your position, I'm talking about your position in Christ. How can we be downcast when we are in Eternal Joy? How can we be in despair when we are in Eternal Triumph and positioned to become brilliant, merciful, humble, etc.? John 15 identifies our position as that of being "in Jesus". He is the vine and we are the branches. That is worth CELEBRATING!!! As followers of Jesus, we have been reconciled back to God through Jesus Christ and our sins are not being held against us.  

6. CELEBRATE your prosperity. (No jealousy or envy.) - We are taught that each man is given a talent and what we do with that talent demonstrates our faith and our desire for increase, and for the glory of Jesus. In the creation narrative, we find that God put "seed" into His creation, so there would be a "built in" sustainable method for reproduction; i.e. increase. Humanity's original assignment was to "be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it". You have been given what you need, to prosper where you are. Don't let comparison steal you of over looking the promises in front of you. Like Nehemiah, we are rebuilding the walls of our broken lives. How do we do that? Where do we start? Start with what you have and where you are at. I often struggle, wishing I was in a bigger city, a wealthier city, etc... But, I remind myself - "Jesus loves my city and He died for these people. Someone needs to be here to love them, preach the gospel and lead and establish a Kingdom culture. Why not me? Why not us? Why not here? Why not now? That's the mantra of someone who can CELEBRATE their prosperity and not be jealous or envious of someone else's provision or success.

This is the great hope beloved! 


[1] Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Overcoming the "Comparison Killer" - Part One

Overcoming the "Comparison Killer" - Part One

A few days ago I was browsing social media and I came upon a picture of some old friends. Most of them are in church leadership. Some were older.  Some were younger. I'm not altogether sure why, but I thought about the pastors nearest my age and I felt "less than", "not successful" and "incapable". I was asking myself, "Why do I feel this way?  This is not normal.". I realized that the culprit causing such internal chaos and wreaking havoc was COMPARISON and it's a killer. The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 10:12-13, "For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us...." [1]

I found myself within the crosshairs of comparison. I was comparing myself, my calling, my church and my family against another person's calling, church, family, etc. We do that, don't we? We compare ourselves against other moms and dads. We compare ourselves against the successful partner at work. We compare our spiritual journeys against those we admire and look up to. We compare ourselves against a "better version of ourselves". What I've learned is this - it's foolish to engage the comparison game and COMPARISON IS A KILLER BECAUSE IT ISOLATES. It pits you against everything and everyone else. It becomes ME against the WORLD or I AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Pity and Pride hanging out together. Neither one cares as to who gets the recognition. They are both after the same thing; our paralysis by analysis, i.e. COMPARISON. 

Here are some of COMPARISON'S toxic poisons:

  1. Striving - "I have to do more" is the language of this toxic poison. We think that if we put in longer hours, drive our team harder and sacrifice our lives on the altar of elusive success, then we won't have to compare ourselves because we will be declared the winner of the immeasurable game of life.
  2. Loss of Focus - "Did you see what they did? Do you see what they have? Did you hear how everyone was talking about their presentation?" - These are the kind of questions that we ask ourselves when we lose sight of our journey and growth, and begin to focus more on the perceived success of others. We have lost sight of our journey and our path of following Christ. I can't see my Rabbi because I am too busy looking at someone else and how they are following their Rabbi. Before long, you look up and you don't recognize where you are or how you got there. Rabbi Jesus is no where to be seen. Loss of focus causes us to arrive at the places we swore we would never go.
  3. Illusionary Dreams - This is related to loss of focus. The difference is that we begin to bury our talents in the ground, because after all, the "return" will never be as much as the other guy's. Or the opposite is true. My dreams are illusions, because in my pride and arrogance I am showing off what I have acquired for God. This is what makes COMPARISON such a killer. Be less than what you are. Be more than what you are. It does not matter. COMPARISON just doesn't want us to BE WHO WE ARE!
  4. Victimization - Does Job sound familiar? - Friends that can't help; family is taken away. How about the injustices Joseph faced? - Sold into human slavery; accused of rape; incarcerated for a crime he didn't commit; rejected by family. How about Daniel? - A casualty of war; taken captive and indoctrinated by the godless Babylonians; educated in heathenish art, literature, science, etc. When we compare ourselves against others and come up short (in our own mind), we play the victim card. "Life is stacked against me. It's my spouse's fault. I don't have the right team. I need more resources. Everyone's against me." This is the powerless language of the victim. They will find someone or something to blame; resigning from responsibility. 
  5. Self Criticism - If the killer isn't coming from someone or something, then it will come from within. And maybe that's more deadly. The co-worker will go home at the end of the day. The person who is so successful will eventually leave. But, you are with one person more than any other and this will be true for the rest of your life. Who is this person?  YOURSELF.  You are always with you and that's why self-criticism is so dangerous. You can't escape you. However, you can get healthy. You can become more loving to yourself. Your inner critic can become your inner champion. You can have compassion for yourself. You can be confident, creative, connected and courageous. This toxic poison will carry a measuring rod to see if you are enough. It's plays a subtle game. So tempting. So deceptive. We find ourselves in the middle of it before we know it. 
  6. Jealous/Envy - Jealousy says, "I want what you have". Envy says, "I don't want you to have what you have". When jealousy and envy are present, you can bet entitlement will come too; this disastrous trio is quick to arrive. It's as if they come together in a set. COMPARISON says, "Here, drink this. It's jealousy. It won't satisfy your thirst, so follow it with envy. Maybe the two of them will satisfy your thirst. No? Here, try the 3rd part - entitlement! Those don't satisfy? Sorry..". At this point, the damage is done. The heart has grown cold and hard and we start striving saying, "Let's work harder, do more"... and the cycle continues.

There is hope beloved. In part two, we'll discover what to do when we are in the crosshairs of COMPARISON. 


[1] Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Change The Station.

Change The Station.

When I was a kid, I was the remote control and the antenna adjuster. If my parents didn't like what was on, they told me to get up and change the station. If they found a show they wanted to watch but the TV reception was fuzzy, I was also the antenna adjuster. I had to go outside and spin the tall (very tall to a 8 year old skinny kid) antenna. I always remember my dad hollering, "Back the other direction. Wait. Too far. Back the other way. You're close. Ok. Right there. Wait... No... That's good. You can come back inside."  I wondered, "If the antenna is good today, why am I going to adjust it tomorrow night? Who's moving the antenna around while we are at work and school?". My childhood imagination created a number of scenarios for why it was always happening.  

In the days of cable and dish TV, wireless this and wireless that, remote controls, etc., I'm not asking my kids to change the station or go adjust the antenna. Somehow I think my kids have missed out on significant life lessons. But, as an adult I have discovered that I still need to change the station. I need better reception. It's not a TV station, a satellite music station or a Spotify station. It's the station in my head. I need to change the station in my thinking.

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we make everyday. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.
— Brene Brown, "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You are Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Because of our fears, our insecurities, our anxieties, our embarrassments and our shame, we are all too often tuned into the signal of "this is what's wrong with me".  The noise - and that's all it is. Noise fosters a negativity within my own heart and mind that is debilitating, disempowering, disappointing and discouraging (The Killer D's).  You and I don't have to listen to that station. Change the station. 

It's time we listen to another song, another sound, another voice... We are always tuned into something and my desire is that you and I tune into the things that God is saying. Let our attitudes, beliefs, hopes and aspirations be influenced by the station of God's love, God's word and God's voice. Here's how I change the station:

1. BE HONEST. Admit that I am listening to something/someone.  

2. BE BRAVE. Assess how what/who I am listening to is affecting my attitude, beliefs, hopes and dreams.

3. BE PROACTIVE. Change the station by remembering and rehearsing the most recent thing God said to me, God stories (testimonies) and God's word.

4. BE BOLD.  Declare the most recent thing God said to me and the God stories, in prayer and worship.  My words will be a weapon.

5. BE EXPECTANT. Assess how the new what/who I am listening to and what I'm declaring is improving the quality of my attitude, beliefs, hopes and dreams.

6. BE VULNERABLE. Share with a spouse, family member and/or close friend what you have done and how it has added life and health to your soul and life. 

I hope these simple tips can help you change the station and find something healthier to watch and listen.

Now what?

Now what?

I lead a wonderful team that leads Gateway Christian Fellowship. It’s a church with an amazing 40+ years history. She has been known for many things, but primarily for winning people to Christ, discipleship, outreach, miracles, worship and revival. In the last three and a half years, it has been our journey to grow as a family because I believe it’s the only way to create healthy legacy and to have a multi-generational, multi-ethnic, empowering and sustainable revival that brings reformation to cities; restoring the lost and desolate places.

With that in mind, we recently invited a guest speaker to come and share with us biblical wisdom and release an impartation of God’s grace, by God’s Spirit that would strengthen us, empower us and provide for us what is necessary for building God’s Kingdom as described above. Click here to know more about impartation.

The opportunity of a lifetime must be stewarded during the lifetime of the opportunity.

It was an amazing weekend. We had over 90+ testimonies of healing. Hundreds from across the New England region came and were encouraged. They encountered God and left with a greater expectation and excitement about God and about what He is doing in our lives and region. Many received miracles. I believe it was a watershed moment for Gateway and for those who participated in the weekend.  However, when the weekend was over and our guest speaker was on a flight home, I laid on my couch, fatigued, excited and curious and I kept thinking to myself, “Now what? What do we do now?  How do we leverage this opportunity of a lifetime during the lifetime of the opportunity?”. I’ve learned that there is no breakthrough without follow through, which is why I’m writing. I want to provide a framework for what happened and offer some suggestions for what we can do to leverage this opportunity, this moment.  

What does this mean? What do we do?

As I said earlier, I believe this was a watershed moment; the opportunity of a lifetime that must be stewarded during the lifetime of the opportunity. This reminds me of the time in Acts 2 when Holy Spirit fell upon the believers in the Upper Room. Those who were not experiencing Holy Spirit, asked two very important questions. They asked, “What does this mean?” and “What do I do?”. I am asking these very same questions today, as I ponder our important weekend. What is the Father saying to us?  What is He inviting us into?  What does the place of obedience look like in this new moment? Without these questions, our weekend becomes nothing more than a “blip on the radar of encounters”. Its lasting impact fades as quickly as our memory. I don’t believe that’s God’s heart, His purpose nor His wisdom. A moment like this can best be summed up as - “A REVELATION(encounter) is an INVITATION for an IMPARTATION, that with INTEGRATION, we experience TRANSFORMATION so we are a MANIFESTATION of the original REVELATION. The two questions are our attempt to receiving an impartation and an engaging integration. Transformed people are those who transform cities. We believe what the bible describes as “the priesthood of the believer.”  Simply put, we believe that every follower of Jesus has been called to heal the sick, disciple others, operate in supernatural power, etc… When “everyday” citizens live that kind of lifestyle, I believe that a city will start to experience the transforming and reformational wisdom and kindness of God.

I experienced and saw during our weekend, the power of simple and childlike faith, people having powerful encounters with God, an increase in expectation and faith for God to great things, people being healed as their friends prayed for them and followers of Jesus increase in confidence as they prayed for people and saw results. I believe what I saw, and what I experienced is just another way to describe the impartation that God gave us.

This impartation has be to be lived out in the everyday life of a Christian. Followers of Jesus need to be interdependent upon each other, the church, and the corporate gathering on Sundays. But, followers of Jesus can’t expect the church to do everything. Logically, there are 168 hours in a week. The above average church attender will spend 7 hours a week in “church related things” - 3 hours at church on Sunday, 2 hours at church during the middle of the week and 2 hours at a bible study/small group. So what does this mean? This means that the average follower of Jesus is going to have to make some adjustments in the other 161 hours of the week that they have left.

Here are some suggestions that I have for “integrating the impartation” without depending solely upon the corporate church gathering:

  • Get training. The local church is called to equip you. If they are not doing that, let them know how you can help. Don’t criticize. Be a part of the solution. If we really believe in the “priesthood of the believer”, then we need to train God’s people to live naturally supernatural in their everyday rhythms of life.
  • As you grow, invite others into your journey and disciple each other.
  • Make some lifestyle changes.
  • Watch your words. Displace negative talk, complaining or criticism with words that are more hopeful, joyful and expectant. Words have the power to create life or death. Make sure you are speaking words of life. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything.
  • Be prepared for counter attacks. Graham Cooke says, “It’s one fight to get free. It’s another fight to stay free.”. You can overcome counter attacks by using your words, but use them to rehearse the testimony of what God did in your life. Declare the promises of God’s word over your life. Stand together with all the saints, rooted in God’s love and leverage the power of community and covenant relationships.
  • Make decrees. Prayer is awesome and powerful. Make sure your part of your time is not simply requesting, being thankful or asking, but make decrees. As an ambassador, you have been given authority to make decrees. Again, this is using your words, your spiritual identity and position to govern the Kingdom of God here on the earth.
  • Spend time in worship and soaking. When I was growing up, my mom would always play country and western music when she wanted to clean the house. I guess, there was something about that “honky tonk - two step” music that helped my mom get her work done. Music is powerful. I encourage you to find some great Christian worship album primarily with slower or softer music, play it and just lay down and rest. Ask God to visit you, to refresh your spirit, soul and body. During that time, just welcome Holy Spirit and His presence and activity in your life. Be alert about the things you think about, the things you are feeling, etc…  It’s ok if you think of “tasks” during this time.  Just write them down and immediately return to worship and soaking. Worship is not always about singing, but it’s about communing with God. John 15 describes a “oneness” lifestyle with Jesus. John 17 is Jesus’ prayer for us to live as one with the Son and Father. During this time, it is also helpful to read the Psalms, pray the Psalms or meditate upon certain bible promises. Engage a new rhythm. Do this before bed time and give God the night season. When you normally watch TV, turn it off and do this with your children. Give them crayons or markers and have them draw pictures that they are imagining or pictures they believe Jesus is giving them. This is a great family thing to do.
  • Step out and take risks. There are so many things we can do to cultivate greater intimacy with God, but at some point we are going to have to step out and take risks.  John Wimber used to spell F-A-I-T-H as R-I-S-K. For Jesus followers we are called to live by faith. That means a life where we take risks. That means that when we feel the nudges of God and the promptings of Holy Spirit to pray for others, we should pray and expect results. If you are praying for physical healing and if it is appropriate, ask them to test the injury and see if they are experiencing healing. If it’s emotional healing, ask them to be mindful of their emotions. Are they experiencing less of the negative emotion and more of a positive emotions? The fullness of Christ being formed in us is for our joy, but also that we may be sent as servants of God, serving the crown of His creation - PEOPLE!  If someone is experiencing the grace of God and His power, ask them if they want to give their lives to Jesus who is so kind and loving. He will forgive them and establish them in God’s family. If you get this far in their journey, be prepared to disciple them because that’s our responsibility as followers of Jesus.
  • Engage in community and covenant relationships. We need each other. Not everyone’s situation will go to our benefit or the benefit of others. We need each other for spiritual support, encouragement, healing and to accomplish what Jesus is asking us to do. We do not want to only align ourselves with God, but we need to be aligned with others as well. Do away with “convenient” relationships only, and establish “covenant” relationships. If you are a follower of Jesus, you are a part of a body, a family and a house. It’s for your benefit.  
  • Ask this question - “How does this impartation/encounter further clarify my identity and who the Father says that I am?”. I believe that each encounter with God is about God bringing clarity to our understanding of who He is and who we are in Him.  Attached to my encounters with God are upgrades to my identity, my understanding of my identity and my expression of Jesus to the world. I don’t want to simply encounter Jesus as if it’s a “roller coaster” ride; once I get off, it is over. My encounters with Jesus are to form Christ in me so that Christ can be demonstrated through me. I know people who have had supernatural experiences with God and who have seen the miraculous power of God at work in their lives, but when you ask them, “Who does the Father say you are?”, they have no answer.  

God is doing amazing things in this hour. He is pouring out His Spirit and He wants your life to be impacted and shaped by what He is doing in this hour. You are called to shine like a city on a hill. What now? Make some adjustments in your lifestyle and you will experience transformation, and therefore become a manifestation of God’s goodness and grace.


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Thoughts on Good Friday

Thoughts on Good Friday

I received some encouraging words after my remarks on Good Friday at Gateway Christian Fellowship.  So, I decided to share my notes.  I hope they encourage you.


Am I experiencing the power of resurrection?  Are we experiencing the extraordinary reality of life overcoming death?

I don’t believe, I am to the measure that is possible. Here’s where I am curious. Am I / we not experiencing the power of resurrection, its magnificence and majesty, because we do not experience deeply the power of the cross?

Some may say, "I don’t have to experience the cross. Jesus did that for me. He did that as me." 

I love what my friend Arun Joseph posted on social media today, "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'”Matt 16:24 NIV.   It's not only substitution, but participation.

Paul prayed that we would experience the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. Paul would also write that we have been given the Spirit of Adoption, where we are no longer slaves to fear, but we can, with confidence and joy, cry out “Daddy God.”  But it doesn’t end there, he goes on to say, “if indeed we share in his sufferings we will also share in his glory.”

Sufferings is Good Friday.  Glory is Resurrection Sunday.

Good Friday is bloody.

Good Friday is messy.

Good Friday is insanity. Scattered followers. Grieving mother. Gambling murderers.  Bewildered onlookers. Joyful religious zealots. Indifferent Roman government.

Good Friday shakes the earth.

Good Friday is wildly unreasonable.  Loss. Rejection. Pain.

Good Friday is the precursor to Resurrection Sunday.

Good Friday is a spectacle. It’s visually striking. Many think the spectacle is the death of an innocent man; one who claimed to be one with God. The real spectacle was against the powers and forces that rage their hatred against mankind; the image bearers of the glory of God. Our presence taunts the enemy. Our presence reminds him of what he lost when he rebelled against God. Our presence is salt in his eye; alcohol in his wounds. We torment and torture the enemy by our presence because we are the image bearers of God. Yet, he works tirelessly to destroy and to distort makind so that we do not reveal the glory of God any longer. We are unrecognizable because of sin’s torture.  We are scarred. Named. Without recognition.  But the act of Good Friday is the act of God, washing the earth of her sins and providing redemption for anyone who wants it. It’s an act of love so scandalous that we can’t believe it and if we want to believe it, we sanitize it to make it more paletable. When I look at my life and look at the brutality and inhumanness of the cross, it confronts my casual living. It confronts how I manage my stuff. It confronts my attitude, my beliefs, my convictions. I am held to account for my life when I look at the cross. I can’t get rid of the cross. It’s an historical reality. Cable news shows are talking about it. Churches are talking about it. We sell chocolate bunnies because of it. 

We have commercialized it. Sanitized it. Ignored it. Shrunken it. Devalued it.  Explained it. Disregarded it. Marketed it.  But have we embraced it? Have you embraced a love so radical - that Christ was brutalized and died so bloody, so swollen, so puffed by His physical body responding to torture? Have you said yes in such a way, that your heart is ripped open by this Divine act of love?  Are we waking to America’s sanitized version of Christianity that fits neatly in our Christian book stores and book shelves, but does not fit neatly in our hearts, because it confronts and makes us uncomfortable?

Good Friday irritates. It irritates the lazy soul and arouses it to wake up. Wake up from this mindless living - work, home, dinner, tv, bed, work, home, dinner, tv, bed… vacation… work, home, dinner, tv, bed, work, home, dinner, tv, bed...

Isaiah 52:14, “But many were amazed when they saw him. His face was so disfigured he seemed hardly human, and from his appearance, one would scarcely know he was a man.” NLT

How can this be good?

“‘Take and eat; this is my body. Taking the cup and giving thanks, he offered it to them saying, ‘Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured our for many for the forgiveness of sins.’ (Matthew 26:26-28)  And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way, after the supper he took the cup saying, ’This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.’ (Luke 22:19-20)

Hebrews 8:13, “By calling this covenant ‘new,’ he has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear.”

What does “it is finished mean?”

Death of Jesus was the death of death.

Death of sin is what we call our behavior when we fill our disconnection from God with idolatry. Sin is the bowing down to things that we adore or need, more than God.

Death of separation.

What is the new and better covenant? 

Darkness covered the earth.

Earthquakes shook as the glorious and majestic Christ entered the earth.

Romans 8 - all of creation waiting for the emergence of son’s and daughters. I‘ve often thought of creation as that outside of mankind. But mankind is part of creation.  Mankind is waiting for the emergence of sons and daughters. That is to say, what happens to me when sons and daughters arise? Not just what happens to the environment, but what happens sociologically, environmentally, socially, judicially, economically, politically?

I was driving the other day, near the big box stores and I was sitting at a red light. And walking across the street was a dad, with his backpack, and his little boy with a backpack on, sitting on the father’s shoulders. Not unusual to see that, but uncommon to see it there. I thought - that’s what Jesus did. He carried the cross, nailed to the cross, unable to get down by His own power, hanging there by the power of His own will and the power of the nails, the hammer and the wood. Jesus carried the cross so He could carry you. Life is dangerous; like the road to a little boy.  Maybe the little boy could cross on his own, but it would be by the courtesy of the drivers. Life is not so kind. It strikes its mighty blows of death, addiction, pain, rejection and loss. Yet, Christ strikes a greater blow.

Colossians 2:13-15, “You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. 15In this way, he disarmedd the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.”

As we sit on this Good Friday, I invite you to meditate upon how the cross -

  • Unveils the ugliness of human violence.
  • Reveals the beauty of God’s forgiving love.
  • Reminds us of how God in Christ shares our pain.
  • Shows us the beauty of Christ that saves the world.


*some thoughts were gleaned from Brian Zahnd's website.

Relational Messes: How to Clean Them Up

Relational Messes: How to Clean Them Up

Honest leadership matters. Honest leadership that takes responsibility matters more. Honest leadership that takes responsibility and invites others into the vision of what God is doing matters the most.

Relationships. They are beautiful. They are powerful. We can all recall a family member, friend, teacher or mentor who has had a positive impact on our lives. Many of us can also recall people in our lives who are destructive to our journey and growth. Even as I'm typing, I see the faces of people in my life that have harmed me. I also see the faces of people that have contributed life and helped me become the man I am today.  

I was having a particularly difficult day, not too long ago. I was trying hard to be intentional in my relationships and it was hard work. It was mentally exhausting to listen, ask clarifying questions, fight for connection and understanding, and encourage others. I mentioned to my wife that I was done with the effort. In her succinct wisdom, she says, "You can have healthy relationships or you can have easy ones." I told her I chose easy for the rest of the day (It was about 8pm) and that I would think about the healthy ones the next day.  But it's true, isn't it.  Healthy relationships are not always easy. They require heart, head and hand investment. They demand follow through, respect, care and love. Healthy relationships are worth it, and as we invest and grow together, we often make relational messes. For example, sometimes I don't listen well and it devalues my family or friends. Sometimes I jump to conclusions about others.  Sometimes I hold onto resentment and self-protect. Sometimes I take my "inner self critic" and project my problems onto others. We don't want to make messes, but we do. Hopefully we don't do it intentionally. That's would be called abuse.  

So what do we do when we create messes?  How do we clean them up?  Here a few questions that might help you.

1. What is the problem?   

2. Who has been affected by this problem?

3. What are you going to do about it? To help answer this one, I have a subset of questions to help you sketch a plan on what you can do.  

a.  Describe what you were feeling, believing or perceiving when you made the mess.

b. Explain how what you were feeling, believing or perceiving affected you and your behavior. 

c. Tell others how you felt about the negative, painful impact you made.

d. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. 

e. Share what God is teaching you and how others can help you. 

4. Do you need someone's help to clean up the mess?

5. When will you have this mess cleaned up?

In reality, its as simple as 1-2 sentences for each bullet point and you're good. Honest leadership matters. Honest leadership that takes responsibility matters more. Honest leadership that takes responsibility and invites others into the vision of what God is doing matters the most.

Sometimes the most painful lessons are the ones we learn when we hurt people. We don't want to intentionally hurt others. That's abuse. But, we often do so out of the fear, lies or pain that is affecting our life. We clean up relational messes because we love, care and want to restore connection and trust.

The Unexpected Moment

The Unexpected Moment

We had an unexpected moment yesterday while we were gathered as a church family. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Holy. Quiet. Appropriate. Divinely orchestrated.

What happened?

We have a number of people leaving this week on mission trips to different parts of the world; to share the gospel, to encourage and to serve. I EXPECTED our time of prayer for these people to be strong, powerful and deeply meaningful. I least ANTICIPATED how the presence of God would linger after our time of prayer. That was the unexpected moment. My gratitude and admiration for Gateway is hard to express. The way the church lingered in God's presence was incredible. We did not feel pressured to do anything, but JUST TO BE. I am humbled by the privilege of leading such a loving and hungry family. However, as the leader of the meeting, in that moment I immediately found myself at a crossroad. Either stick to the pre-planned schedule or adjust and linger with Holy Spirit and see what happens.

If I may for a moment, just clarify something about unexpected moments from where I sit - When pastors/church leaders make adjustments to partner and follow God in the unexpected moment, they are usually applauded for being courageous and "allowing" Holy Spirit to move. Can I be honest? We are courageous when we linger in the unexpected moment and we are courageous when we stick to the schedule as planned. The entirety of our time together as a church family is by faith. We put a plan in place on what we think God wants to do in a service and we move forward by faith. Sometimes, in the middle of our faith-filled plan, God does something that we do not expect. So, we are confronted with a moment to adjust or "stick to the plan." You know the last time someone came up to me and told me I was courageous for sticking to the plan(created by faith and with expectation)? I CAN'T REMEMBER! Don't get me wrong, pastors love affirmation and encouragement. We need it. It inspires us to be joyful laborers. But, I can promise you; it takes as much courage to follow God when you are on the plan, as you do when you get off the plan and lean into the unexpected moment. It takes as much courage because the entire meeting is by faith. If we think our plan is going to change lives we are fooling ourselves. If we think we can force an unexpected moment because that changes lives, we are fooling ourselves.

I can't speak for all pastors, but I can speak for the ones whom I serve alongside at Gateway. We believe that our unexpected moments AND our plans are from God. We love God. Hosting Him, welcoming Him, beholding Him and following His lead in a gathering is the most important thing we do; because it originates out of our most important position - Worshiping Children of God.

If I may be so bold, the next time you see your pastor or church leader, celebrate them for being courageous and wise. It doesn't matter if the service had unexpected moments or the pastor followed the script. Both require faith and in the end, faith expressing itself through love is what counts and pleases God.


Photo Credit: Indigo Skies Photography - morning glory via photopin (license)



It's a Wednesday night and I'm sitting in my office; just 15-20 feet from our worship center. One of the things I love about working on Wednesday evenings is that I get to listen to the sound of passionate worship and faith-filled praying. The "boom" of the drums and bass resonate as if a herd of elephants were running through. I hope that "booming" sound causes hell to tremble and heaven to celebrate. Maybe angels are dancing in rhythm. The vocals are piercing the airwaves and ringing out with a love so rich and thick, as if you have been slimed by God's goodness. And that's the point - a life covered with Christ's goodness. 

I looked up the word horsepower. It's an interesting word. It's defined as, "work done over time. The exact definition of one horsepower is 33,000 lb.ft./minute. Put another way, if you were to lift 33,000 pounds one foot over a period of one minute, you would have been working at the rate of one horsepower."[1]

When I think of Wednesday night service, I think of the thousands of faithful people, who have attended week after week; praying, worshiping and believing for great things. Darlene and I stand on your prayers. Thank you for not quitting and not giving up! I believe that Wednesday night worship and prayer is where much of our "horsepower" is generated as a church. It's a 90-minute worship and prayer fest, with a group of passionate and hungry people. In our obedient and loving effort to build Christ's kingdom in each life, each marriage, each person, we are so in need of the "raw horsepower" of unadulterated worship and prayer. Our supreme value as a family is hosting the presence of God. It is to behold Him and gaze upon His beauty. After all, one of those two will be the eternal position of every saint. Prayer is the gift on this side of heaven; to commune with God, to be formed by Him and to legislate the affairs of heaven on earth. Worship is the never-ending gift that derives from the majestic beauty of a loving Father. 

God glorify Gateway so that Gateway may glorify you. Be glorified in us, through us, by us - FOREVER!

I know that all of my Gateway family can't come on Wednesdays because of family commitments, distance, etc. You are missed!  But, know that we are praying for you, for this great house, for our bright future and for New England to experience the satisfying glory of God.


[1] What is Horsepower? - WebCars!

A Long Goodbye

A Long Goodbye

It's a long goodbye.
Because it's been a few years in process.
Because I'm 1800 miles away.

About what?

I was a part of a church in the Central Texas area for 11 1/2 years. While there, I buried my mother, father and 3 grandparents; I saw my two oldest children graduate high school; my oldest met his wife while in high school during those years. I deepened my relationship with my brother, sister and one of my uncles. To speak of my spiritual growth, the breakthroughs, the honor to meet some of the greatest men and women, would take too much time. I made some lifelong friends. I laughed. I cried. I hurt. I bought a home. I matured into fatherhood and leadership.

In the next few weeks, that church will no longer exist as it has for the last 20+ years. The reasons are not relevant to write about.  


THANK YOU to Charles & Marquita for taking a risk on this couple from Florida, who arrogantly said that he would not be your next "church plant boy." Your willingness to look past my stupidity and offer me an opportunity to be a part of your team was a life changing moment. I didn't see it then. I couldn't see it. My ignorance blinded me. But day after day, meeting after meeting, my eyes slowly opened. You have loved me, challenged me, corrected me, taught me and more than anything, believed in me, when I gave you many reasons to the contrary. Whatever success I am having in leading the wonderful Gateway family in Connecticut, is directly connected to the training and equipping you gave me. Was it perfect? Ofcourse not. No family is. I hope that our success in Connecticut inspires you to keep investing into the lives of other men, women and local churches. While I have not planted a church, essentially I'm doing what was in the DNA of your church, to expand the culture of the Kingdom and strengthen the local church.

THANK YOU to Lawrence and Danielle Babin. Your love, leadership, support, bravery, courage and endurance inspired me. What you have role modeled to me about covenantal love, endurance, brave communication, joy, passion and friendship is top rate. I've learned to love people better because you have invested into our lives. You have wept with us. You have built with us. You have sacrificed for us. You are some of the clearest examples of Jesus that I have known. I hope we will keep running this race together until we are old men and women, celebrating the accomplishments of our natural children, grandchildren and spiritual children.

THANK YOU to the many pastors that I had the privilege of serving alongside. Your friendship and acceptance of us onto your team, provided a wonderful environment for me to grow and learn. 

THANK YOU to Bonnie, Frances, Renee and Heather; the four admins who helped me along. We have had some great times together, creating and building a ministry that served our student culture and helped young men and women discover their identity. Remember the retreats? Remember the boxing ring in the middle of the church? Can you say, Camp Tejas? Remember the t-shirts?  Remember all the times I had a last minute idea? Remember prophetic presbyteries? I owe you so much for your friendship and partnership.

THANK YOU to the youth leaders, who sweat and bled with me. We had a great run. I hope you have taken some time to celebrate your investment into the many students, who are now engaged in the Kingdom and serving our King.

THANK YOU to the students, teenage community and the friends at the church. I can't remember all the names, but I am grateful for each of you and how you helped me learn to love, live and lead like Jesus.  

THANK YOU to the many support staff, with whom I had the honor of serving.

Mostly, THANK YOU Jesus for being eternally good and expressing that goodness in my life and my family, during those 11 1/2 years. The overwhelming pride I feel for the indescribable moments I had with my mother and father before their deaths, the humbling and awesome pleasure to preach at some of my grandparent's funerals, to seeing my kids graduate, the birth of Luke, etc... is overwhelming. I simply don't know what to say except THANK YOU!

Thank you Church of the Hills!

Believing for a greater future,


Jesus wept and so did I

Jesus wept and so did I

Maybe you know this; maybe you don't. Jesus wept and so did I.

This moment into the emotional life of Jesus is found in the gospel of John when Jesus comes to see his friends - Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Lazarus had died (although Jesus would raise him from the dead - which is not the point of these thoughts). Jesus was moved by the emotions of His friends and He wept with them. The sacred texts also tell us to "weep with those who weep." 

I wrote in a recent blog about the generosity of God and the reality that He has given us what we need to live a godly life, participate in His divine nature and escape the world's corruption and our evil desires. But, what I am struck by is, not simply a godliness that produces moral behavior and a lifestyle like the "powerful" Jesus, but also the ability to weep. Jesus wept and that's godly.

I bring up Jesus' weeping because, recently I was talking with my therapist about my dad's death in December 2013 and how my recent emotions and memories highlighted hidden pain and grief in my heart. I was shocked by the tears and sorrow that ensued as he and I talked. I'm convinced Jesus wept, as I wept, and that's godly. I wonder how much my tears express a more authentic prayer, which could never be captured in words.

I struggle sometimes to know the role of weeping and lamenting in a faith that stands upon the bedrock of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. When St. Paul writes about the resurrection in 1 Corinthians 15, he punctuates his point with triumphant language. YES! We are triumphant, but not because we don't hurt or weep, but because we can hurt and weep, knowing that Christ meets us in our pain. He meets us in our pain, not to judge us, but to say "I understand." He meets us in our pain to say, "I've been here. I hurt with you. I'll weep with you." Once the tears stop, Jesus grabs us by the hand and leads us forward into hope, joy, peace and healing.  

I wept and so did Jesus. He is such a comfort to me and His eternal mercy and kindness are indescribable. I can't believe He saved me and called me into His family. I don't want to avoid the tears. The promises of Jesus enable me to share in His divine nature; namely weeping, and He weeps with me. Tears matter to God.

I leave you with the words from the classic Hymn, "Jesus Wept."

Draw near, ye weary, bowed and broken hearted;
Ye onward travelers to a peaceful bourne;
Ye, from whose path the light has all departed;
Ye, who are left in solitude to mourn:
Tho’ o’er your spirit has the storm cloud swept,
Sacred are sorrow’s tears since Jesus wept.

The bright and spotless Heir of endless glory,
Wept o’er the woes of those He came to save;
And angels wondered when they heard the story,
That He who conquered death, wept o’er the grave.
For ’twas not when His lonely watch He kept
In dark Gethsemane, that Jesus wept.

But with the friends He loved, whose hopes had perished,
The Savior stood, while thro’ His bosom rushed
A tide of sympathy for those He cherished,
And from His eyes the burning dewdrops gushed:
And bending o’er the tomb where Lazarus slept,
In agony of soul, then Jesus wept.

Lo! Jesus’ pow’r the sleep of death has broken,
And wiped the tear from sorrow’s drooping eye:
Look up, ye mourners, hear what He has spoken,
He that believes on Me shall never die.
Thro’ faith and love your spirit shall be kept;
Hope brighter grew on earth when Jesus wept.